His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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