I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
