I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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