i can't believe i had my finger in that
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Every concussion has its silver lining
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
