Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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