She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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