we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
