Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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