just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
