dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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