If i come over, it means nothing
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
