her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
