Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
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he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
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He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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