why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
