please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
