you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize