I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
