I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
