I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
