yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
