very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Will exercising make me less horny?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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