You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
