I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
