youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
