He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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