Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
