OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I think people are normalizing furries
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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