Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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