AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
