You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
