That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
