he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
