Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
