I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
