i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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