i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
ttyl tear gas
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
