a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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