The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
