Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You are a genius and a whore.
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