Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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