It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
