too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize