Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
