Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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