my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
