Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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