is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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