i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
