Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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