i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize