I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
