Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
