You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
