google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
