Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
