How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
