yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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