My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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