Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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