'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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