Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
