okay pat passed out under dana's car
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
