i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
