the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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